View Full Version : Swine Flu jokes..

Davie Tait
5th May 2009, 21:14
A Lion , Bear and Pig are sitting around discussing how hard they each are. The Lion says "When I ROAR the whole Jungle shakes".

The Bear says "When I roar the whole forest trembles".

"So What !", says the Pig , "All I have to do is sneeze and the whole world shits itself !!"

Davie Tait
5th May 2009, 21:16
Wife runs out of petrol and phones her husband...

"I'm scared to fill up 'cos of this swine flu."

He says "You daft neep its in Mexico not TEXACO ya eejit !!"

5th May 2009, 22:28
We've had Bird Flu,Killed all the birds
We've got Swine Flu..Kill all the pigs
What will happen if we get Asian Flu

Someone once said if ever there is a black president pigs will fly.
After a 100 days "Swine Flew"

Phoned the NHS Helpline about Swine Flu.
It was a bad line all i got was "crackling"

I think I've got Swine Flu
I keep comeing out in "rashes".

5th May 2009, 23:47
If you get Swine Flu rub salt all over yourself.
You'll soon be cured.

My mate said he has Swine flu
I think he's telling porkies.

You'll know you have Swine Flu
If you wake up with an apple in your mouth.

9th May 2009, 16:37
New Swine flu outbreak found

60000 Celtic fans as sick as pigs:D

young ronnie
9th May 2009, 20:43
Oh what a smug man you are to-night Mr.Beedie...you'd better hope they don't fall at the last fence or you and Sandy will be sneaking out the country in disguise and under cover of darkness (with me carrying your cases) !!!!!

Sea Beef
10th May 2009, 18:12
with swine flu spreading fast, kermit the frog now wishes he had used protection shagging miss piggy, what a bloody muppet

23rd May 2009, 22:01
If you get swine flu just go to the doctor and ask for a prescription for,


bitter end
25th May 2009, 16:05

26th May 2009, 20:24
And the big bad wolf bellowed "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!!!"

"F**k off!!", cried the little pig, "Or I'll sneeze on you!":D

12th June 2009, 17:15
Went to the doc to see about this "swine flu"
Nothing to worry about you just got a "pig of a cold"